Outrageous Clothes that I will never wear

FASHION - Call it my biggest fashion industry pet peeve... but what is with all the clothes that, admittedly, none of us would ever wear in public. Or in private for that matter.

In the olden days of fashion design there was this thing called the avant garde, which was meant to represent anything that was so outrageous it was... controversial.

The term is also used in art history, to describe artists like Jackson Pollock or Andy Warhol who did something nobody else had ever done before.

Except when you look at the clothes shown here, you realize, yes, that's probably been done before. Its not very... experimental. Its like they're trying to be avant garde, but really they don't have a clue what they are doing. (I've tried to show a variety of different faux avant garde styles here, so you get a broad idea of the kind of bullshit nonsense these designers are pushing.)

I admit some of the clothes does look pretty kewl, and I could see wearing some of them to a gothic club... but its difficult to imagine where I might wear any of the other pretentious avant garde crap they're pushing.

I don't know why the fashion magazines even bother to show these photos any more. Is it like what I am doing? Making fun of it? No, they show them, talk about the designers and are totally serious about it. Its like they haven't clued in to the simple fact that:

AVANT GARDE IS DEAD.

Even retired fashion designer Pierre Cardin says Haute Couture is dead. Haute couture is basically just another word for avant garde.

Let's imagine for a moment if someone actually wore some of these things in public...

You'd have to get used to the idea of people staring at you all the time. You'd just look like a complete freak (more so than the goths, punks and emos look like freaks).

You'd also would have to have the hot sexy body to make it work. You'd definitely have to be female... a guy would never wear this stuff.

Its also not very practical. Its too cold for the winter, too hot for the summer, you can't wear a jacket over top of it and if it rains your clothes will get ruined.

In other words... nobody in their right mind would wear these clothes in public... unless they're eccentric or outright wacko.

You will never find a store that sells this avant garde crap either. Its not wearable or sell-able. It makes me wonder what the designers do with it after they're done on the catwalk... stick them in storage? Rip them apart and reuse them? Give them away as gifts?

I can just imagine the clothes being regifted from person to person until finally someone either recycles the material or trashes it completely.

I realize what the designers are doing of course. They're trying to make a name for themselves by doing something remotely outrageous. If they can get their name out there as a fashion brand... then they can start charging a lot more $$$ for their regular clothes lines. In other words... they're self-indulgent greedy little pricks... the same kind of pricks (and yes, they're mostly male) that only hire anorexic girls on the runway and are probably screwing the models (or snorting coke with them) behind the scenes.

After all when you make it big in the fashion industry, what else is there to do but f*ck around and snort cocaine? Like Kate Moss below.

Cage Shoes

FASHION - Cage shoes may be popular right now, but how comfortable are they?

Cage shoes may be the rage this season, starting at the spring/summer 2009 Yves Saint Laurent collection shown in Paris last October followed by designer Stefano Pilati sending his models down the runway with their feet encased in a shoe featuring thin strips of leather that form a grid-like pattern and perched on a metal cage-inspired heel.

And ever since these cage shoes have been imprisoning the feet of models and supermodels all over the blogosphere, setting people a-twitter.

I can't help but admit they look kewl, and indeed I wouldn't mind having a pair or two... but I've also tried them on several times at Holt Renfrew... and was very disappointed.

They pinch your feet, your toes and your ankles. They are HORRIBLY uncomfortable. I have yet to find a pair that fit properly and are comfortable.

I am soooooo glad I didn't buy them either, because I found out later they leave horrible waffle tan lines on your feet. So they're definitely more for partly cloudy days.

Fedoras, oh la la what a cock

FASHION - When it comes to hats and headwear, there is nothing more stylish than a fedora.

And nothing more geeky or tells the world you're a complete idiot.

I will say that women look fabulous in a fedora. Its very stylish and they don't look geeky whatsoever, but when a man wears it he ends up looking like:

1. A geek.
2. A pimp.
3. A complete cock (a British term to describe a braggart, idiot, jerk).

The last thing, the absolutely last thing a man will look like, is stylish and kewl. The men in the photos above... all look like cocks. They're trying really hard to be stylish. Too hard, and it ends up looking fake.

When you're stylish, you're not trying hard, you're natural about it. You're not pretending to be something you're not. You just are. Men wearing fedoras in an attempt to look stylish... well, they just end up looking like cocks.

As much as fedoras may be back in fashion for women, for men it could be years or decades before fedoras are considered stylish again.

I will say however there is a practical reason for wearing wide-brim fedoras. In the future, with global warming et al, it will be a wise move for more people to wear fedoras, cowboy hats and other ways to cover your head.

These short-brim fedoras... they're not practical, they're purely for style and people trying to look stylish. When people start wearing fedoras because they're a practical way to keep the sun off... then it will become stylish again.

See Also:
Fedora Femme

Does the Fashion Industry Ignore Average Women?

NOTE: For photos I managed to find several images of 'average' and 'plus-size' women's fashions, but its rarity. I experimented with Google image searches and I'd say skinny fashion outweighs average-sized fashion by a factor of 150.

FASHION - The average American woman is size 14.

But when was the last time you saw a size 14 woman on a catwalk? Or a size 14 mannequin in the store window? They don't exist.

But male mannequins and male models that size (or bigger) do exist. Why is that?

In these troubled economic times, it seems idiotic for an industry to ignore half of its potential customers. But that is exactly what the women's-fashion industry is doing by catering to size 4 women, according to the L.A. Times.

The average American man in contrast weighs 189.8 pounds and can easily find his size in department stores or expensive boutiques selling Armani. They know men won't diet to fit into a suit, but women will diet to fit into a dress.

Many women's designers limit their collections to size 10 and under, while department stores carry vastly fewer selections in women's so-called plus sizes and relegate those to fashion's "back-of-the-bus" by tucking them in hard-to-find corners of the store.

"I just don't want fat people wearing my designs," says one fashion designer. "Fat people aren't cool, and no hip designer wants uncool people wearing their clothes."

But these aren't fat or obese women. They're average. The fashion industry is ignoring AVERAGE women just because they're worried its 'uncool'.

Only a few chain stores, such as Lane Bryant, Fashion Bug, Avenue and Torrid, focus on full-figured women, despite 62% of United States women being categorized as overweight (and approx 30% as being obese). Retailers are hurting for business, many are reluctant to even talk about plus sizes, let alone promote them, because they don't want to be seen as uncool.

It seems like the fashion industry is only marketing to the less than 5% population that is "super thin".

Where are the stores for fat women?

Where are the stores for average women?

The L.A. Times also reports that almost every major retailer, including Macy's, Nordstrom and even Wal-Mart, the county's No. 1 seller of plus-size clothing, declined to give interviews or failed to respond to requests. Why? Because they don't want to admit they sell to 'uncool' women apparently and are worried such a stigma would hurt their sales.

See Also:
Skinny Fashion Models / Standardized Women's Clothing Sizes
Skinny White Runway Models
Anorexia in Asia
Carre Otis
Fashion Waifs Disappearing
American Obesity Rates
The Perfect Female Body at Work

Real Women on the Runway

FASHION - Its not that fashion models and supermodels aren't real, its just that they're not realistic compared to average working women these days.

Today Vancouver Canada based fashion designer Cheri Milaney created a first-of-its-kind runway show that stitches together real women and high fashion. She's chosen 22 average-sized non-models from a variety of careers to display her Fall/Winter 2009 collection tonight at LG Fashion Week.

The women he's trained are mothers, artists, teachers, entrepreneurs and cancer survivors.

"It's not just a runway show," says Milaney. The concept is intended to shake up the notion of ideal beauty, she says. "It's about bringing life to the clothing."

While not professional models, the models have each been given practice sessions on the catwalk by Ben Barry, the author of 'Fashioning Reality' and a modelling consultant.

Milaney hopes her stance will give the younger generation role models to look up to.

The name of Milaney's Fall 2009 collection, Viola, which means purple in Italian, also represents an instrument that can be associated with the natural curves of women.

To make the clothes fit women sized 2 to 16, Milaney takes into account the rise in the pants, the seams on the jackets and the way they drape over the body, details that both flatter the models and looks great.

Fashion Brawl in Manhattan

FASHION - Supermodel Tyra Banks says producers of America's Next Top Model are "doing everything we can" to see all the women left out of auditions after a weekend melee in Manhattan.

Three people were arrested and six injured in New York on Saturday afternoon when an audition lineup for America's Next Top Model turned into a brawl.

Thousands of women had been waiting overnight outside the Park Central New York hotel for a shot at stardom on the hit television reality show created and hosted by former supermodel Tyra Banks when the chaos broke out.

Two people were taken to hospital, but four others refused treatment.

Its believed the riot started when a fight between two women broke out. Matters were made worse when a man charged into the crowd attempting to steal handbags.

Police canceled the day's auditions and two women and a man were arrested on charges of inciting the riot and disorderly conduct.

The street outside the hotel was littered with shoes and clothing from people who had tried to escape the melee.

Tyra Banks, who is also the show's supermodel executive producer, has said she created the show to counter stereotypes about beauty. The current auditions were open only to women no taller than five feet, seven inches tall, which is shorter than the industry's conventions.

"It is so important to me to redefine beauty, and make sure that everyone gets a fair chance to pursue their dream," says Tyra Banks. "I am beyond excited for Cycle 13; for the first time ever, young women 5'7" and under have a shot at becoming America's Next Top Model! I encourage each girl to come out ready to rock the runway and show off their fiercest pose. I'm rooting for all of you!"

Tryouts are being held around the United States this month.